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Frank Mahony: Thanks Mom...


Frank Mahony

Frank Mahony

Thanks Mom...

7/9/2009   Comment on This

Amy Jacobson Feeding my Dad?
Is that Amy Feeding my Dad?...
If you were at our last “Live Broadcast” – you may have met my mom (and my dad). They were on hand, supporting us and enjoying our first “live on location” show.

The next “live broadcast” is this Sunday (7/12/2009) at Club Amore – 8166 Grand Ave, River Grove, IL - please be there at 5:00pm sharp!


Our former co-host and pal Amy Jacobson was also nice enough to be there to support us which was great until she makes the same comment as I always hear when people first meet my mother: “This cannot be your mother – she looks younger than you!”

Yes, I know I look old - Thanks Amy.

A couple weeks later, at my daughter’s graduation, more people meet my mother for the first time and again - “This cannot be your mother – she looks younger than you! Are you sure she’s not you sister?”

Hmm. You know, I'm not 100% *sure* - but I'll look into it and get back to you.

Don’t get me wrong – I’m happy for her because she does look great – but the unspoken implication directed at me is:
“What the Hell happened to you?”

All this is fine, fun and even humorous until the “what’s your secret?” question pops up. Then she gives her explanation of why she looks young. Mom doesn’t say anything about genetics or anything about nutrition, lifestyle, vitamins, climate, or any of the usual stuff.

Her answer is: Ponds Cold Cream.

That’s it. All you need to do is plaster yourself with Ponds.

Immediately, all the women break out their iPhone/BlackBerry/Palm PDA or find something to jot down “Ponds Cold Cream” (including my wife). Officially, my mom is now the Guru of Youthful Skin.

Now, every night for the last few months, I get to smell “Ponds” – which has an aroma that is a cross between paint thinner and cream cheese. I can't take that smell. It makes me keep my distance like using garlic to fend off a vampire.

It's like a combination of face cream and birth control. No wonder I only have one brother.

Thanks Mom…

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