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Frank Mahony: Skinny Bitch or Fat Ass

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Frank Mahony

Frank Mahony

Skinny Bitch or Fat Ass

7/16/2009   Comment on This

I found a diet book called "The Skinny Bitch Diet", written by some models, lying on a table in my kitchen. For clarification, it was the book lying on the table in my kitchen, not the models (that’s an entirely different blog).

I suspect the book belongs to my wife or my girls. I’m sure it doesn’t belong to any of my boys because they’re reading “The Video Gamers’ Cherry Coke and Cheese Fries Diet.”

I was curious to know, what does a Skinny Bitch eat?

So, I took about 30 seconds to thumb through it, Evelyn Wood style, looking for key phases. I found: vegetables are good… blah, blah, blah… fruit is great… blah, blah, blah... meat is bad blah, blah, blah… eat whole grains blah, blah, blah… dairy is bad blah, blah, blah… sugar and bread are bad blah, blah, blah…

Ok – I get it. What a shock to find that models are vegans.

I started wondering - could I eat that way? I’ve never been skinny and I’m more of an ass than a bitch. So I would lean more toward a book called "The Not Skinny Ass Diet" or more succinctly "The Fat Ass Diet."

steak is on the MEA-GAN DietI can handle the veggies and fruit; I can deal with little or no sugar/bread; but no meat?

It’s like the best scene in My Big Fat Greek Wedding - “What you mean he don’t eat no meat? That’s Ok – I make Lamb.”

So, I think we need a new variation on vegan - a vegan that eats meat. Lets call it a MEA-GAN.

I see where they're going – I know that pizza, cheetos & soda are bad for you, but come on… I’ve got to have some beef, chicken, sausage and fish now and then.

So I’m taking pre-orders for my upcoming book: “The Fat Ass Diet: Learning to Eat MEA-GAN.”

Anyone want to write the forward?

 

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