Frank Mahony: Countdown to the Royal Wedding
Countdown to the Royal Wedding
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I just saw yet another “Countdown to the Royal Wedding” segment on the morning news which makes me want to ask Mr Owl – how long can you beat a dead horse? So rather than all the dumb questions everyone is asking, I wonder if the Royal Wedding has any of the same problems and issues as our family’s weddings?
We need to find a place for the Ceremony, Reception and Rehearsal Dinner about a year in advance because everything books up that far out. They can just “have it at the house.” If I did that, it would be considered cheap, but for them, it is an “honor” to be invited to the Palace. That’s a sucky double standard. Why isn’t it an “honor” to be invited to my Palace? Maybe I should start being more exclusive with the guest list at my parties.
No matter which church they choose, for whatever date, it will become open. Imagine if you were supposed to get married and you booked the date a year in advance. Then, one day you get a call from someone who says “I’m sorry but you’ve been bumped by the future King and Queen.” Maybe you get an invite to their wedding as a “concession prize” in exchange for being bumped.
Speaking of invites, I wonder how that works...
At our family weddings, we decide to invite Auntie Betty who will give a $10 wedding gift even though it will cost us over $100 for her to be there. The parents want every conceivable friend and relative to be there. The kids hardly know these relatives or have met them only once. They want to trim the list to make room for their friends.
Do you think the Queen and Prince debated over inviting guests. Maybe the Prince thinks that the Prince of Yugoslavia is cheap?
Queen (in a queenly voice): We must invite the Prince of Yugoslavia. His family has supported our family and country for centuries.
Prince (in a South Park voice): Screw him – he always makes an ass of himself. Nobody even knows Yugoslavia has a Prince and he’s so cheap – he’ll probably only give $50,000. Who would we sit him with anyway? At the last party, he picked a fight with the King of Zimbabwe. Let’s invite “Prince” from the United States instead and maybe Lady Gaga too.
Lastly, there is the Music and Photographer. They’ll ask Paul McCartney and he will “gladly accept the honor” and probably be paid nothing. We have to pay some bad DJ $1000 to play a Paul McCartney CD. We also have to pay a photographer for the wedding – They’ll have thousands of photographers capturing pictures and video of every move they make.
The more I think about it, I’m pretty sick and tired of the whole monarchy/royalty thing. Seems silly in this day and age – no?
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