Frank Mahony: In the “Heat” of Retrial, Blago Admits ...
In the “Heat” of Retrial, Blago Admits ...
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It was almost all over but the shouting and Former Governor Rod Blagojevich (Blago) certainly knew that his day of inevitability had come.
And so today in open court, with his back up against the wall, Blagojevich finally admitted the truth that he had been avoiding and desperately hiding from everyone, including his lawyers, for all these months and years...
That he is the brain child behind pop music sensation: Justin Beiber
Nobody expected this surprise announcement, especially since so many moments of concealed tape recordings somehow managed to miss the very important megalomaniacal background dealings that it took to catapult his prodigy into the limelight.
“People thought I did it for my fame, for my future and my fortune,” proclaimed Blagojevich, “But they got it all wrong.”
He continued, “I knew this kid was something the moment I heard him and I put everything on the line to secretly mentor him to greatness from the hairstyle right on through to the dance moves…”
“It almost doesn’t matter what they do to me now because I’ve achieved my goal.”
While many were shocked and confused, those closer to the controversy began to nod with understanding.
“It all finally makes sense,” acknowledged prosecutor Reid Schar. “We all thought he was possibly just crazy or mentally disturbed in some way but he had a plan that was bigger than anything we saw on the surface.”
With the popularity of Beiber’s music, the prosecution is now wondering if they have a case left. Prosecutor Schar explained, “Have you seen the arenas the Beiber sells out? How do we get a jury to convict Blagojevich now?”
With the case coming to a close, the question on everyone’s mind is: how did we miss this?
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