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Frank Mahony: The Guardian Angel of Parking Lots

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Frank Mahony

Frank Mahony

The Guardian Angel of Parking Lots

12/4/2008   Comment on This

I’m sure I’m not alone on this. I’ve developed a case of “Parking Rage” and I need to vent verbally before I do something physically that I’ll regret. Driving in parking lots has become like driving through an enemy territory gauntlet – especially now that the “Holiday Shoppers” have landed.

My biggest issue is backing out of my parking space…

When you’re trying to back out of a space, idiots come flying past and around you, even if half your car is already out of the parking spot. You are a reasonable person and understand that you are driving a large dangerous vehicle while many people act like we’re all driving bumper cars – where anything goes.

All the Mario Andretti antics are usually to get to some “closer” parking spot so they don’t need to transport their fat ass an extra 20 yards on foot.

Sometimes, the truest of morons walks behind your car while you’re backing out. Your white reverse lights are on, your car is in motion, you are already backed several feet out of the parking space, but they walk behind your car with no concern – eyes forward in a glazed trance.

I believe that based on Darwin’s theory, they are supposed to get hit, which would help end a lineage of subspecies that escaped natural selection. But surprisingly – I don’t see that happening.

Darwin didn’t factor the guardian angel of parking lots into his theory.
 

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